Re-learning how to live life
I’ve recently realised that I’m in the process of learning how to live again! Sound funny doesn’t it.
Let me explain. When I was 18 I got poorly and was diagnosed with M.E. Nearly every year a new symptom would appear or I’d have a flare-up and become house or bedbound once again. This meant I couldn’t work like 'normal' people and when I became a mum it was mostly about keeping these little humans alive. There was not much socialising for them or me. At some point in my life I began to live my life mostly in fear. Fear of doing anything slightly energetic or overstimulating for my body. I learnt the hard way that when that happened a majority of the time it cause a flare up of symptoms which would last weeks and if I really overdid it then it would be months.
When I was 25 I hit rock bottom which led me to start being proactive in making positive changes in my life.
The first change was with food, which has been such a surprise and an incredible learning curve. Nutrition has such a healing power that we over-look daily and we’re not taught about the power of nutrition in school, which by the way I think should be. Understanding the fundamentals of what your body needs and why is essential knowledge. I would actually love to go into schools and show them the difference of my life with poor nutrition vs good nutrition.
I also started reading self-development books which really helped my mindset. If you’re reading this and thinking ‘that’s a load of bull!’ then I would like to say welcome to the club. I thought the exact same until I read one and I was blown away by what I learnt from it.
I then read a book, mitochondria not hypochondria and when I read it I just knew that’s what was wrong with me. It all made complete sense. I knew what needed fixing but I had no idea who could do it. Then the wonderful universe aligned and a friend of mine was talking to someone who actually tested mitochondria. As soon as she told me, I messaged him and booked a session. This really changed my life. I cried so hard the day I was able to walk down the lane BY MYSELF! In fact, I cried every time I went for a walk for the first 5 times. In true Katie style, I overdid it and set myself back quite dramatically and still haven’t quite reached back to that point but I will. It has taken a few years for my body to adjust and there have been many ups and downs along the way but my god has my life changed.
2 years ago I felt lost, lost in who I was and what I wanted out of life. I had so many questions and just as many fears. I stumbled onto a spiritual journey, which I now believe the universe had my back once again and aligned to kind of throw me onto my spiritual path. This has led me to understand myself so much more and finally recognise the fears that held me back and the patterns I was falling into again and again. I found reiki, which really helped me with my emotional side as I’d locked so much up as I had either been too afraid to face things, or I was desperatley trying to get through the days that I felt it would set me back if I allowed myself to face some home truths. I now know these things get trapped in our bodies and can easily lead to health issues.
I now feel like the most honest version of myself than I ever have before and it’s quite empowering.
I’ve still got a long way to go. I’m currently working on my mind, mindset, thought patterns, etc. I have created many mental cycles over the years that need breaking, which takes time as they’re deep-rooted due to the amount of years they’ve been repeating. It’s not easy, it all takes time, patience and let's not forget failure. There is a lot of failure along the way but I know I will get there eventually as long as I don’t give up.
I now feel more like a MUM than I ever have. I now take them to sports clubs, parties and I go places on my own with them. These things all use to put the fear of God in me. Luckily, the fear of being a shitty mum outweighs the fear of my mind and I’ve finally started to break the cycle. This cycle, however, has taken at least 3 years for me to break so know if you’re struggling with the same, you can absolutely do it!
Just before I go I would like to say a massive thank you to all the mums that have helped me over the years. Your kindness has helped me so much and you have truly helped me more than you could ever know. Thank you.
Thank you for being here and I hope it helps you on your own journey in some way.
Katie Rose x