New Year's Day - Spoonie on Ice
New Year's Day...
Today I did something that has been on my list for years!! ICE SKATING!
I always remember going skating for my birthday when I was about 7 and I loved it. I've always wanted to go again but just never got around to it then a few years ago my legs become absolute turds and the most unreliable things I've ever known. Never able to plan things too far in advance as I've no idea how my legs will be doing that day. It was around this time my daughter started asking to go ice skating - typical!
Every time I thought I might be able to it the hubby would say it was a terrible idea or I'd suffer too much so I started to believe that I just wouldn't be able to it. He didn't mean to make me feel like it was just something I couldn't do, he was just worried about my health and the anger and frustration I go through every time I overdo it.
About a month or 2 ago I realised that I was my own worst enemy and my fear would stop me from doing SO much but fear doesn't exist unless you allow it to. I decided I was going to start doing things I tell myself I can't! I've decided that if I don't try then I will never know how well my body is doing or what it can cope with. I'm prepared to fail, cause flare-ups and potentially utterly break BUT then I will know where my boundaries lie, right now. I say right now because we are forever changing, growing and healing, so I may not be able to do something now but in a few months or a few years it may come easily to me, who knows...unless you try!
Let's go...
I woke up a little anxious, thinking what have I let myself in for but I knew it was something I wanted to try and most of all the kids were excited that mummy was actually going to do it too, instead of sitting on the sidelines watching.
I got on the ice and as silly as it sounds, it was slipperier than I had anticipated! Cue mum, Isabelle, Matthew and I all clinging onto the sides for dear life. Isabelle soon shot ahead of us and had to wait for us to catch up. Little man had what can only be described as spaghetti legs so we had to get a penguin for him, but not until we had been around once as there was no going back with the sea of other parents holding on for dear life. The things we do for our kids! Matthew was much more comfortable and less awkward with his penguin. Isabelle was barely holding on already and mum...well she was not letting go of the rail even if I paid her.
I started finding my confidence and was mostly concentrating on helping Matthew to stay upright, which I think helped as I wasn't overthinking it. Eventually, I was not only letting go of the side but skating away from it too, such a proud moment!! Isabelle on the hand was lapping us! I lost mum for a bit, she was doing her own thing.
Little man started to get tired and annoyed that he wasn't fully getting it so after about 30-40minutes we came off. I took it as a sign that any more would be pushing it. Matthew and I went and got a hot chocolate and watched the others. Mum was thrilled when we got off the ice because she got the penguin and was well away. Pretty sure she felt like a professional and kept saying "I'll just go around once more" which was said at least 5 times. I thoroughly enjoyed watching her face light up each time she passed.
Isabelle was gliding around like she been here 5 times before, she absolutely loved it and you could see the freedom she felt doing it. That in itself was truly worth going.
I came away feeling like an awesome mum, completely fulfilled as I'd checked one thing off my list and still had 2 fully working legs which was bloody brilliant!
To finish...
Anyone who doubts themselves and their abilities I encourage you to try. I do recommend that you do it when you know you can rest up for a day or week (depends on your illness) and that you have support around you just case it goes tits up BUT oh if it goes right!! Pure joy, excitement and a feeling of invincibility, well at least until the adrenaline wears off!
Honestly the best start to the New Year, there is nothing better than feeling like a good mum!