It's been a while since I’ve posted. I’m not the best with consistency but am working on it every day. While I've been a little awol I’ve been working on finding myself, discovering who I am has got to be one of the hardest things to do, or is it just me? I’m, going to be 30 next year *cries a little* and I feel like I’m only just figuring out who I am, what I like and obviously what I don’t like.
Since seeing a counsellor I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery and it is now 3 years later! It’s not just a case of waking up and having all the answers, you have got to work for it. The journey for me has been up and down and feel like I still have a long way to go. I do also believe that you are always learning, growing and inevitably changing every year, week or even day. I’m a true believer in everything happens for a reason and that it’s all about divine timing.
I had let my illness control me, I had become my illness. I decided that I didn’t like that and took MANY baby steps and falls on my arse, quite literally, to find me! First, I found who I had lost in amongst the children, the hubby, the pain, the fatigue, the anger, the false smiler. Then I had to fight to hold on to her, I had to earn it. I had to go through the depressive states, the constant blips, the knockbacks that came along with the happiness, the family time, the socializing, the joy. Luckily, I’m a particularly stubborn person once I set my mind to something.
Then I moved on to discover what I like, what filled my heart with joy, what got me excited to wake up every morning. This changed many times of the years and I struggle with sticking to one thing as I get so excited by new things, learning, crafting and helping others, so there is a wide variety of things that make up me.
Then came the deeper feelings that make up who I am at my core, my beliefs. This is my recent epiphany and acceptance. I’ve discovered that I had been almost hiding apart of myself from myself as I thought it was all a bit woo-woo and hippy-dippy. I opened up to my spiritual side accidentally really through meditation and then seemed to of tripped down a path I never thought I’d go down. I stumbled across a lady who has now taught me how to listen to my intuition, how to connect with spirts, which trust me shocked me and was not something I intended on doing and also encouraged me to do a Reiki course, now completed level 1.
Over the past 3 months, I’ve felt more confident in myself and have accepted that this is part of who I’ve always been I was just closed minded through fear of what others may think, which is absurd when you think about it because only you can be you! If everyone was the same the world would be extremely boring. I’ve also realized so many things that have happened that I just pushed aside and though what a coincidence, well not any more!
I 100% believe in spirits and that I can connect with them. I’m still learning and growing but I’ve already been able to surprise the hubby who is not a believer in the slightest, with info about his granddad who I didn’t know very well. My dad has loved what I’ve been able to say about my Nan Nan and her brother that I didn’t know anything about. I’ve also done quite a few readings now that have all been fantastic & I continue to surprise myself.
It's fine if you don't believe in this stuff, that's a part of who you are. We are all entitled to our own opinions, beliefs etc.
I’m hoping that by writing down who I am and putting it out there that it will help me to solidify who I am in my mind fully.
All I can say is…
Be You Boo!!
Katie Rose xxx